Baby Apollo & Family

Apollo's Family: The Latest

So, it turns out that Apollo was sticking his fingers down his throat, and not eating much, and hurting my breasts when he nursed, because he was developing a case of thrush.  Thrush is a baby sickness I’d read about in the breastfeeding literature, an infection in the mouth that can come in when their immunity is challenged, as it may have been during our recent travel.  He developed these white spots on his tongue last weekend; it seemed like maybe they itched him.  On Monday morning, we took him across the street to our “huisart,” house doctor.  She confirmed our suspicion (based on our baby books + google) that it was thrush, and prescribed this goopy medicine out of a toothpaste-like tube.  Apollo hesitatingly opened his mouth for a teaspoon of it 4 times a day for 4 days, and now he is healed, thank goodness.  What did people do about thrush before they developed this medicine?  The one food he really seemed to want in the last few weeks was yogurt, and apparently the bacteria in yogurt are good for this kind of thing.  Luckily, this medicine worked quickly, and now I know what to look for I it ever comes back.  No more bulimia, his appetite is back in full force, and breast-feeding is a pleasure again.

Thank you for asking how work is going, Carosgram.  I just finished my first course, Tort Law, and am preparing a syllabus to start teaching Contracts in a few weeks.  This work could not be more perfect for me at this time of my life.  I love teaching and am so grateful for the opportunity to teach these international law students.  It’s much more difficult to teach well than I thought it would be.  For the first few classes, I was just delighted to be teaching at all, but as the quarter wore on, I became more aware of the mistakes I’ve been making and how much I want to improve.  I’ve gone to so many schools and had so many teachers, and I know what made the great teachers great.  But now I see that it’s one thing to know what makes great teaching, and another thing to do it.  Teaching is challenging work.

It’s a good challenge for me now, and one I’m glad to take on.  The work of teaching is a nice balance to the work of mothering.  For me, mothering a baby was quite physical, intuitive, and solitary; teaching is verbal, rational, and social.  I enjoy going from one activity to another.  Breaking news on the childcare front: we arrived at a cherished goal this week.  Until now, Apollo would want my attention if he knew I was in the house.  Our routine was that Oma would take him out, I would sneak into my study, and I’d hide in there to work until his nap.  This week, for the first time, I was able to just tell him that I was going upstairs to work, and he accepted that I was in the house but unavailable during that time.  So now I can work in the house while he plays with his grandmother without a problem.  This makes all of our lives much easier.

I watched ¾ of Sex In The City: The Movie last night.  And even though the characters are sort of objectively despicable in their materialism, if you are a fan—if you love Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and even Miranda—then it’s a satisfying movie.  I laughed, I thrilled over the fashion, and, as usual, I shed some tears over beautiful scenes of girlfriendlyness: The scene when Charlotte hisses like a furious kitty at Mr. Big after he breaks Carrie’s heart on her wedding day, or when Samantha spoon-feeds heartsick Carrie yogurt  at the honeymoon resort in Mexico.  Is there anybody out there feeling SITC with me?  I really enjoyed this show.

Happy New Year

Happy 2009!  I guess my prediction of increased functionality in my last post, at least vis regular blogging, was on the optimistic side.  First of all, my heartfelt thanks and love to those of you who put up such encouraging comments after that last post.  I can’t tell you how much strength your words give me.  Things have been easier since I last wrote.  Apollo has come to embrace his mornings with Oma (Carol).  She asks him if he wants to go out, he goes to the closet and gets his shoes, hops into his stroller, and off they go to the playground or the museum.  They can even play in the living room, kitchen, or garden while I work upstairs at this point.  She puts him down easily for his nap, and when he wakes up, I’m there and am with him for the rest of the day.  It is easy to see the benefits to him of developing a rich relationship with another adult.  Oma has long conversations with him, and has her own ways of playing with him and teaching him.

I put up another five weeks of photos, Weeks 77-82.  Jonah and Apollo and I went to California for 10 days after Christmas, to visit Omie (Oma’s Mama) in Palm Springs and Jessica (my dear cousin) in Los Angeles.  The three of us were like happy plants in the technicolor sunlight therapy of California.  One of the reasons why I’ve posted so few photos in the last few months is that it is just so dark here in Holland at this time of year.  Even in the middle of the day, even outside, the photos blur without a flash!  It’s a wonder we’re all not more depressed over here.  The Dutch do a nice job of coping with the winter dark.  As soon as the clocks go back, the seasonal oliebollen (delicious deep-fried donuts) stands appear on the sidewalks, the shops are full of chocolates, and the wonderful holiday traditions begin.  Such a lovely people, the Dutch. 

It amazes even me to see what a big boy Apollo is becoming in those photos, and I live with him.  See him hiking along the rocky trail in the Palm Springs desert!  He does seem to be slimming down a bit with all of his activity at this point.  He walks, he runs, though the latter is more still like hurtling headlong, his little legs doing their best to keep up with him.  He falls like a ninja—really he could be a stuntman.  He talks and talks, but still has no intelligible words.  Well, maybe “hi.”  He says it while waves at people, doggies, ocean waves, automobiles, shoes, and other objects of interest.  He loves waving.  He shakes his head no (“uh.”) and nods it yes (“ah.”).  He seems to understand any question we ask him, and can let us know whether he is hungry, thirsty, wants or doesn’t want this or that, is ready for bath, bed, a new diaper.  He is showing interest in the potty.  The other day he was having some diaper-free time downstairs.  He looked at his penis and said oo? Oo? And I said, “do you want to go to the potty?” and he nodded and said “ah.”  I said, “Your potty is upstairs.”  He walked to the stairs, we climbed them, he went to the potty, sat down on it with my assistance, and made a small peepee in it!  I am hopeful that we could be diaper free in a few months.

He still breastfeeds several times a day and several times at night.  When he is stressed, like during our long journey, he eats less food and drinks more of his mother’s milk.  He didn’t seem too stressed during our trip—we were all so at home with Omie and Jessica, and he was having a lot of fun spending long days outside with both parents—but there were these little clues that it wasn’t so easy on him, like that one.  Or the way that, in the last days of our trip in L.A., he would stick his fingers down his throat after eating dinner with us and throw up his meal.  He did that in Jamba Juice one morning while I was carrying him on my back.  I had just given him a little piece of danish, and after I ordered my juice, I heard, “ech, ech” and turned my head to see his fingers in his mouth.  I was like, “no no no no no no” and all the ladies in line were like “eek!” and then, blech, the vomit was making a warm trail down my back.  The ladies were all like, “oooohhhhh.”

Well, his bulimic streak ended after we got home.  He was so happy to be home, he just smiled and sang and danced for two days and nights.  But another interesting thing is that after this trip, like after the June trip, he is clamping my nipple with his teeth for dear life while he nurses.  It is painful.  But I trust that it will pass, like it did then. 

He has a passion for music.  He points at the stereo and says, ah? Ah?  Whenever music comes on anywhere, he starts dancing, even if he can only dance with one arm because he is in his stroller or something.  He sings along with sounds he hears, just random sounds.  And he kisses.  It seems to take him a week to get kissy with someone—that’s how long it took with Omie.  But then he will hug and kiss whatever part of their body he can reach, and he communicates real love and affection in the kissing.  He kisses me on the lips half a dozen times a day.  And in the last month he has started holding hands.  His hand is still so tiny, fat and soft.  He reaches up to hold ours and often uses this to lead us places.  Everybody in his world is crazy about him.  He is a bright light and he connects all of us through him.  

Of course, he’s not the only source of connection in the world, but I’m happy that he’s joined the human web!  And I’m grateful that this electronic web helps me to send this small message to you.   I remain optimistic that my resolutions for a Better Hermine in 2009 will lead to more writing in this space.  Thank you casting the thread of your attention here toward us here in Rotterdam.